Married to last forever

My husband and I have been married for twenty-one years now.  We know each other very well.  I know that we will not face any trial in our marriage that we cannot work out.  We know that we are both committed to this relationship for eternity.  One huge thing for us is working on our communicating skills.  We are very different, opposite in almost every way, and sometimes we have trouble understanding each other.  I know it is much more destructive to communicate negative feelings rather than positive ones.  One thing I am learning to do is to not personally attack my husband, but rather focus on what my goal is, and talk about what I need from him to achieve that goal.  Our covenant marriage has helped us to not give up, even when sometimes it is hard.

I know it is hard in our society to not put ourselves first, but if we want to have meaningful relationships we will have to learn to put others first a lot of the time.  We are used to living for ourselves before we get married.  Most of us are not required to make personal sacrifices for our families when we are young.  When we marry the focus needs to shift from “what’s best for me” to “what’s best for my family”.

I have learned that family cycles are very hard to break.  I notice this especially as I do foster care.  Many people want to change, but they can’t find the strength to do it.  Many kids swear they won’t be like their parents, and then they end up making the exact same mistakes their parents did.  It take a constant conscious effort to break a family cycle, but we all know it can be done!

In an article called Marriage and Family:Our Sacred Responsibility by W. Douglas Shumway, he says: “Although life sometimes makes us weary, impatient, or too busy for our children, we must never forget the infinite worth of what we have in our homes—our sons and our daughters. The task at hand, a business engagement, or a new automobile are all of benefit but pale in value when compared to the worth of a young soul.”  I love this so much.  We have to learn to get over ourselves sometimes, and be there for our kids when they need us.