Marriage and Children


I find it really interesting that our society views marriage as important in some ways but in other ways it seems like we don’t care very much at all.  We, as Americans, spend about 50 billion dollars annually (according to Wikipedia) on the wedding industry.  We fight hard for marriage rights for everyone.  Yet we have a very high divorce rate.  Many people get a divorce and then regret it later.  The September 16, 2015 issue of the Huffington Post took a poll to see what the leading cause of divorce was, and they found communication issues to be the number one reason for divorce. It appears that we still see the value in marriage, but we don’t know how to keep the marriage strong enough to last a lifetime.
I recently read an article entitled The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation, by Paul Amato.  I know that’s a long title, but so worth the read.  He talks about how divorce impacts children, as children, and even as they become adults.  There are definite trends that happen to children as they face the complications that divorce brings.  Many of these complications are common in all divorces.  Children that come from a divorced couple tend to struggle more academically, emotionally, and psychologically, but they don’t have to.  We can try harder as a society to offer help for couples struggling, and if a divorce is still desired, we can work harder to give parents the skills they need, and children the support they need to deal with the struggles that come.  I love the idea that we, as individuals, have the power to change the way things are.  It is amazing to me the different stressful situations that come up because of divorce, and that these have such a huge impact on children. 
People always say that kids are resilient, and that saying is very frustrating to me because kids are strongly affected by the circumstances they are thrown into, they may not show it at the time, but it comes out later through behavior problems, learning problems, and psychological problems.  Amato’s article shows that one of these factors is children being raised by a single parent.  I think it’s interesting that even though being raised by a single parent can make life harder for a child, there are things you can do to keep your children from these hardships.  Things like getting along with your ex, having consistent and fair parenting, and allowing your children to have as few changes in other parts of their lives, can help to diminish the effects of the divorce. 
I know that it would be best for children if their parents avoided divorce altogether.  We can try harder as a society to offer help for couples struggling, and if a divorce is still desired, we can work harder to give parents the skills they need, and children the support they need to deal with the struggles that come.  I love the idea that we, as individuals, have the power to change the way things are.  We can do it!


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